This new blog has been created today as a way of leaving everything that I have written in the past behind. Some of it is very good, but much of it does not reflect my present thought. I have removed a great deal of my writing from the internet in the last couple of years, and what remains is acceptable, such as my old blog: Jonas the Dunce. It is not as good as I’d like, but rather than remove everything and try to start over, I’m just leaving what’s there and moving on. The date of this move is of particular significance given the feast: The Annunciation of Our Most Holy Lady, the Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary (one of the Great Feasts of the Eastern Church).(I will also continue to write concerning the incompatibility with Christianity and what is commonly referred to as “psychiatry” on another blog: The Heresy of Materialistic Psychiatry.)
These last two years, from March of 2013 to March of 2015, have been a very painful journey of truly accepting who I am and what has been happening to me all my life. Those who know me know that I am a rather unusual person, and it has been rather hard to try and be like everyone else, so I'm going to stop trying. In naïvely assuming everyone is just like me, I have trustingly allowed a great deal of damage to myself and to those I love. In trying to cope with such a hostile world that seems to assume nobody would ever actually think the way I do, I even ended up in a mental hospital a couple of times sixteen years ago.
Sometime within the last couple of years, a bishop said to me, “Just be yourself.” So that’s what I’ve slowly begun to do. (It may cause some persons some concern to learn that I've only been been keeping it under control all these years.)
Another thing that has been obvious to many persons, which I have spent my whole life trying to deny, is that my intelligence is a little above average. A mental health nurse even made reference, within the last couple of years, to my “superior intelligence.” I found that rather alarming and I am still very uncomfortable with such comments, but I have found a way to deal with it.
Like my prayer eight years ago for a terrible illness, inspired by watching my wife’s auntie die a holy death from cancer, I prayed a similar prayer concerning my mental capacity. As with the prayer for a terrible illness, I was planning on an answer many, many years (at least half of a century) from now. However, like the prayer years earlier, it seems this prayer was also answered before I even prayed it.
It seems my memory and cognitive difficulties, for almost four years now, have a particular cause, and some suggest I will never fully recover (at least in χρόνος (chronos)). Little research has been done in this area, specifically due the nature of the cause, but I am discovering what is necessary for improvement now that I know the source of the problem. However, this does allow me to acknowledge that my intelligence in some areas may be a bit higher than average because there are other areas that will allow me to point out how I am very below average.
One difficulty I now have is in reading. It seems rather odd what I am able to read and for how long (or how short), but it has definitely put an end to the volume of books I used to read. The last few years before this difficulty began allowed me to enjoy the first few books by Dietrich von Hildebrand that I have ever read, aside from my first one around ten years ago. I have felt rather embarrassed each time Lady Alice insists I find and read her husband’s book, Transformation in Christ, when I even failed to finish reading Humility: Wellspring of Virtue. The size of this book, the first part of which I enjoyed immensely, appears to teach me this very subject, perhaps more than if I had read more than the first 15 small pages (there is only a total of 109). In truth, this was the reason I prayed the above mentioned prayer.
Despite my difficulties reading, and in choosing what occupies my mind, my thought on some of the deepest questions in life has frighten me at times. It was this fear that inspired the above mentioned prayer. This fear was furthered by some very unusual events and realizations about my past. In trying to deal with this fear, I have been attempting to get other persons to acknowledge these unusual occurrences to justify my fear. This now seems to have resolved.
In dealing with a particularly fearful event almost two years ago, a wise old priest said to me, “Things like this have been happening for 2000 years. You have work to do. So forget about it and get to work.” This is what I will now do, if not to get any work done, just to be at peace.
I don’t know what work I will actually complete. The hard drive on my computer is full of projects that I’ve started in the last few years, but are very incomplete. Thus, whatever I do produce is as much up to God as what my crippled psychosomatic (i.e. ψυχή (psyche) + σῶματος (somatos)) relationship will allow. Since I am even more dependent upon God to inspire me with wisdom (i.e Ἁγία Σοφία (Hagia Sophia)) and I’m even less likely to formally study (i.e. I am an idiot, ἰδιώτης (idiotes), e.g. Saints Peter and John are referred to as idiots in Acts 4:13), what I hope to write here truly is Sophiology of an Idiot.
(Sophiology is the study of wisdom, on which Metropolitan Andrey Sheptytsky wrote a very good book, translated by Andriy Chirovshy, called Pray for God’s Wisdom. I read this book around ten years ago, and it could be summed up by saying: “God wants you to have wisdom. So pray for it and He will give it to you.”)
I believe Lady Alice von Hildebrand is one of the most knowledgable, wise, and cunning philosophers on the planet today. But don't tell her that. If you do, she'll make you look completely foolish as she denies what you say and put all the praise on her husband. If you do make that mistake, it's best to move on as if you didn't say anything as no matter how you try to recover, your intended praise will be turned into an insult... all in good humour, of course.
Although Dr. Alice von Hildebrand is a much more knowledgable, experienced, and wise philosopher than me, I don't think she has the wily factor quite covered. She may be cunning in debate, but she's not quite to the point of crazy.
When you're at the point of confusion and have lost your peace because you're looking for justice in an unjust world, I've found that a phone call from a hieromonk (ἰερομόναχος or ієромонах) can bring you peace again... especially when he says, "You've got more hits on YouTube than them, so don't worry about it."
“You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a shield. But I come to you in the name of the Lord Sabaoth, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you reproached today. Today the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will kill you and take your head from you. And this day I will give your carcass and the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of heaven and the wild beasts of the earth, and all the earth will know that there is a God in Israel. Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s and the Lord will deliver you into our hands.” (1 Kingdoms 17:24—26 or 1 Samuel 17:45–47)
First time with a Green Screen
“You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a shield. But I come to you in the name of the Lord Sabaoth, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you reproached today. Today the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will kill you and take your head from you. And this day I will give your carcass and the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of heaven and the wild beasts of the earth, and all the earth will know that there is a God in Israel. Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s and the Lord will deliver you into our hands.” (1 Kingdoms 17:24—26)
Posted by Russell Jonas Grigaitis on Thursday, March 26, 2015
If you think this is just fooling around and having fun, you better read the quote above this video. Antisthenes, a disciple of Socrates, not only advocated an ascetic life in accordance with virtue, but is regarded as the founder of Cynic philosophy.
Dr. Stephen I. Normal just guest posted on my other blog that I will keep active. This may look like fun and games, but this is very serious business.